More than SEX?!?! You really thought there was anything that men want more than sex? LOL! Just kidding, there really are three things that most men don’t even know they want more than sex!
And they are actually core “needs” that every man truly desires whether he realizes it or not, and they’re necessary ingredients in any happy, healthy and SUSTAINING relationship.
If we asked a room full of people what those 3 things are, we would get a bunch of different answers. Is it attention? Affection? Companionship? Love?… Perfection? 😉 Actually, the first thing men want even more than sex is…
Men want acceptance for who they are right now. Not for who you think they’ll become in 2 years, 5 years, 10 years or 20 years. Nope, they want your acceptance NOW and as-is.
See, we are conditioned as men to provide and produce but in order to do that, at our core we really need to feel fully accepted. And here’s the thing, men don’t change much. People joke about men hoping their brides never change, but in reality most women do change and, ironically, it’s the men that don’t.
So if who he is now is not acceptable to you, you should probably move on because neither one of you will ever be happy. Because, the opposite of acceptance is… CRITICISM.
Criticism is the cause of the death of many relationships. It is actually a form of rejection and even parents are taught that it takes 5 positive statements to counteract every single critical statement made to a child.
But please believe, I’m not telling you NOT to voice your needs and wants! Do NOT be a doormat! It’s just that there are effective ways of communicating that do not involve criticism. You can learn to say things ways that he’ll actually HEAR because it’s not coming as an attack.
The second thing that men want even more than sex is…
Appreciation is the number one reason men fall in love. (Re-read that sentence if you need to.)
It’s true. And the ideal way to appreciate a man is to make him FEEL LIKE A HERO! This is so important. Understand that men have an inherent “need” to be the Hero. He needs to do stuff and then be appreciated for it.
Think about it. Men love superhero movies. Every little boy dreams of growing up to be the superhero that saves the world…AND gets the girl! That’s why he the “chase” is so important and why he WON’T chase after things he doesn’t see as “high value.” More on that later.
Here’s 3 quick ways to make him FEEL like your HERO:
- Ask for help – It can just be to reach something on the top shelf or even for some advice on a big purchase, but ask him to help you.
- Admire him in action. He’s going to do things his way and that is okay. There’s male/female, yin/yang in all relationships. Realize that you don’t need him to be more like you. Appreciate the differences.
- Show and Tell. First thank him and mean it. When appropriate, tell your friends/family how much you appreciate him. And of course, you can turn up the heat in the bedroom!
The opposite of Appreciation? Unhappiness.
If a woman constantly complains and is chronically unhappy, it can make a man feel like a failure. Like he is not good enough to keep her happy and eventually, he just gives up.
There are tips, tricks and secrets you can learn to trigger and sustain this HERO INSTINCT in a man and show him your appreciation. (Yes, then will make him want you obsessively ladies, so don’t use these powers for evil!) Learn more here.
Last but not least, the third thing that men want EVEN MORE THAN SEX, is…
Respect means “to hold in high regard” and “to speak highly of”.
He wants you to trust his judgement. Some men say they feel like their peers at work trust their judgement more than their own wives or girlfriends do.
And, he wants to you to trust in his abilities. Not just his ability to protect and provide, but even the little things, like making the right on the way to dinner. Keep in mind that men also need to figure out things for themselves.
So what’s the opposite of respect? Well, DISRESPECT of course.
Three of the big signs of disrespect to a man are putting him down to your friends or criticizing him in public, constantly questioning his decisions, and/or ordering him around like one of the kids. Most men feel these types of behaviors are disrespectful.
Your words have the choice to either build him up or tear him down, so choose them wisely. Use effective communication techniques to always express your respect for your man even when you disagree, and you’ll have him eating out of your hand.
Is that it?
So there you have it. The 3 things men want even more than sex ~ acceptance, appreciation and respect. Easy peasy?
Not quite. It takes real work.
And just because men want these three things MORE than sex, it does NOT mean that sex, sex appeal, and the “chase” are not important too! They most certainly are.
If you want to learn the only formula you’ll ever need for Lasting Romance, check out the presentation below:
4. BONUS TIP
Okay, so there’s one last thing that you need to know ~ The easiest way to become irresistible to any man is by actually becoming irresistible… but to YOURSELF.
So often we find that we’re so worried about what everyone else thinks of us, we don’t stop to think of what WE think. Figure out what makes you happy. Figure out what you want your life to look like. What are you passionate about? How can you follow your dreams?
Take responsibility for making yourself HAPPY. Unfortunately no one can do it for you. If you think about it, you’ll realize that no man has ever made your feel any sort of way. It was your INTERPRETATION of their words and behaviors that made your feel how you felt, whether good or bad.
It’s all in how you see it. It’s all YOU. And that’s great news because it means you are in control and ONLY you have the power to design your life how you want it.
Look, I’m not saying that miracles happen overnight (although sometimes they do!) but I am saying that each time you take a step in the direction of your dreams and goals, you will feet better, more in-control, and more confident. And your self confidence and happiness will shine and attract!
“Every woman that finally figured out her worth, has picked up her suitcases of pride and boarded a flight to freedom, which landed in the valley of change.”
― Shannon L. Alder
whether you are in a relationship right now or not, Take responsibility for your own happiness. Accept yourself with compassion and understanding, for who you are right now today and be willing to discover with unconditional love who you’ll be tomorrow.
The irresistible woman that men want to “chase” realizes that real attraction is not just physical. She’s constantly bettering herself, knows her worth and is busy constructing a life she cherishes… INSTEAD of focusing on what men want or how men see her! And doing that reflects the self-confidence and happiness that men find irresistible.
- Watch your self talk – Sometimes we talk to ourselves in ways we would NEVER talk to anyone else. Be kind to yourself always.
- Be the best you – continue to set your goals high in all areas of your life, and strive to reach for the stars.
- Build a life you love – Figure out what you want and Go for it! No one can resist passion. Start taking small, consistent steps toward the life you want and you’ll start to feel unstoppable.
The moral of the story is YOU fall in love with yourself FIRST! Become that “high-value” woman you want to be and once you start to live your life full of happiness and on purpose, you will BE IRRESISTIBLE!
Love yourself first…